It's called a slump people.

A personal slump and a knitting one.

Personally: I gave up diet pepsi and diet coke. So I am now in the stronghold of the meanest caffeine/nutrasweet withdrawal headache/lethargy/vomiting mess... I feel so completely wretched. And it calls my name you know. Actually it more accurately screams for me to drink it, along with threatening more horrid side effects if I continue to deny myself the evil chemical cocktail.

We'll talk about the other crap later.

Knitting. Well this is a story that is best told in pictures....

First we have the sitcom chic. AKA give it up sister you didn't buy enough yarn and cotton ease is discontinued so they ain't getting any more at the store you cleaned out of the white. This will be frogged in the near future.



Next we have the mariposa nightmare. I still don't know what to do with the sides that don't work in the back. But here is my pathetic strap progress:



Remember the 12 skeins of knitpicks? I still can't figure out what to do with it. I cast on for the Raglan Tansy Tee, but decided I didn't like it. This also needs frogging and re-winding.



So now I need some happiness. Some instant gratification. So I head to my LYS, buy a ball of berrocco plush and make this cutie for the girlie downstairs who has a girl on the way:



After that quick knit, I get the bright idea to make the boobholder from glampyre. Sorry sweetie, one size will not fit all in this case. And I don't think I really wanna fuss with trying to figure out how to get it started, much less the math for the rest of it. Back to the frogpond.



I'm also working on a crocheted snood for a friend of mine. This is my practice snood starter. The real one will be in shiny red crochet thread with beads!



And we end our story in pictures with the only thing that makes me happy. My clapotis. The pattern is impossible to screw up and it's seven shades of gorgeous.

Are knitted garments not for me?

*sigh* and double *sigh*

Mariposa is not working. There is entirely too much fabric on the top. And the bottom is just all wonky. I haven't finished the straps yet. I may knit an "A-frame" type back panel and just stitch that in. I can't decide. I'm so disappointed.

I saw the light...

At least I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I swear I saw it. Wasn't that the light?

The big pieces of mariposa are all done. And quite lovely thank you. But now I have to do the straps. The straps are done in a kind of intarsia I guess. And a total fricking pain in the ass. I got an entire inch done last night.

But today I will work harder. I will wear this top. I swear I will.

the long ugly weekend...

The weekend did not start out well. There was the scary green poop episode in the tub courtesy of my 2yo nephew on Friday. On Saturday we headed out to the blueberry festival in small town bfe. Apparently it ended at 4pm. We arrived at 3:50 pm. Not good. That night was capped off by the pineapple puke party provided by my 5yo son.

My poor husband ended up having to clean up both messes by virtue of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Which is why I did not complain as I sat in the pukey smelling jeep at 9pm on Saturday night with the boys while my husband perused the liquor store for the perfect bottle of Scotch. He deserved some Scotch. Besides, it was rolling around to Father's Day.

I did get a surprising amount of housework done though. The man washed all the laundry and I got it all put up. So today I can knit. I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on Mariposa. I'm about half done with the left back panel. And after that I just have to make the straps and do the seaming and blocking. So yay.

I'm not sure what my next project will be. I need to finish my clapotis and the man socks. But I don't think sitcom chic is gonna make it. I must have not bought enough balls of yarn, and I'm thinking a shorter, lighter, lacier cardigan type jacket will be more appropriate around here.

And then we have the twelve balls of knitpicks shine twist. And since we've clearly established that Soleil is *not* an option, I'm not sure what to do with it. If you have any ideas, I'd surely appreciate them.

Kidless and forlorn...

Backstory: My church is being remodeled this summer. Therefore, there is no VBS this summer. Therefore, there will be four summer fun days, each spaced two weeks apart on Thursday.... yada, yada, yada.

Yesterday was fun day the first. Summer Splash. I packed the boys, sunscreen, chairs for the three of us, my mariposa in progress, and dropped the man off at work. Then we arrived at church at 9:30. After checking the boys in, I realized that I was supposed to leave. I'm not used to leaving. I felt suddenly very lost.

So what did I do? I went to the LYS of course. And I browsed. For two hours. Because I was broke, but the man got paid yesterday so today I can go back and buy something for my sp.

Fortunately the girlie at my LYS is very understanding and did not seem at all worried that I spent two hours fondling her yarns. I can't believe in two weeks I will have the entire morning to myself again. Strangeness.

Mariposa is coming along slowly. I'm nearly finished with the first back panel. Which means I have a whole nother back panel plus straps to do. *sigh*

Progress not perfection...

I have a couple of places I'm not perfectly happy with, but the front of my mariposa is done. And by all appearances it is actually gonna be flattering. So I'm all in my knitting happy place....



And no there's not toothpaste on my new mariposa, it's on the mirror.

Fred.

Do you know Fred? I hate Fred. For many, many years Fred was the bane of my existence. Once a month. Or more specifically for about 12-13 days of the month.

And if you are a man and for some strange reason you are reading this... Fred is the name I give my monthly visitor. Feel free to run away screaming now.

Anyhow Fred was very mean. Fred would come and drain me so badly of blood that I would have to take iron supplements. Seriously. Wearing double protection and changing that every hour or so. It was soooo bad. And during the draining or more specifically the hemorrhaging, it hurt. Like someone was just churning my insides. But I coped. I am woman. Hear me roar. And hey, I wasn't getting any. The last time I got any from my ex was the conception of my now 5.75 year old son. And we didn't get divorced until January 2003. You do the math.

But then when I met the good man (the current husband) being "incapacitated" for 12 or 13 days was not cool. So finally I visited my doctor. And since we knew that hormonal birth control did not A. prevent pregnancies* or B. stem the red tide, he suggested a handy dandy surgery. Long story short (too late!) I now have no actual Fred to speak of. Like I haven't bought anything more heavy duty than a panty liner for over a year. So yay!

But not yay. Fred is not happy that I stopped him from draining me. I think he was doing something evil with all the iron he sucked out of my body. Something dark and having to do with vampires... (or else I watch too much buffy/angel).

So now Fred punishes me in new exciting ways. Because hormonal birth control does not prevent pregnancy*, my tubes are tied. But mid "cycle" I get ovulation cramps now. WTF? I never knew there was such a thing. It's like the old days with Fred, but without the hemorrhaging. Nostalgic even.

But wait. There's more. Right before I don't bleed, Fred delivers more cramps. Like walking down the aisle at Publix drop the wheat thins and fall to your knees cramps. And no I'm not exaggerating. Scared the bejeebers out of the man.

So now the cramps come twice every 25 days. Cause I'm so blessed to have a short cycle.

I never used to have the mood swings. The crazy, everything sucks, I'm gonna bite your head off because you left your turn signal on for an extra nanosecond mood swings. But now I do. I messed with mother nature, or more specifically Fred, and he makes me pay.

I hate Fred.

*Big J is my depo-provera baby - Little J is my ortho tri-cyclen baby. And no I didn't do anything "wrong" according to the sucky birth control rules. They were just meant to be. :)

Stuff and junk...

In a fit of misplaced guilt, I decided to knit up something quick for the baby of the people who I am pretty sure don't like me. So presenting...



It's an umbilical cord hat from SnB. I worked it entirely on size 7 dpns, cause I didn't have the right size circ and I refused to spend any money. And it's knit from some Bernat Denim Style that I had picked when I first started thinking it was soft. Working on the size 7 dpns was no problem at all.

The socks are worked on size 3 dpns in the same yarn. They turned out really cute. They have a modified rib stitch pattern on them. I used some sock patterns I had, but basically made them up as I went along.

This whole set worked up in less than 6 hours. It didn't even use an entire ball. Bernat makes a pink version of the denim style as well. So I'm thinking this is my fall-back quick baby gift.

And more importantly.... secret pal stuff. This arrived on Thursday, but they had it at the office and y'all know how much I just love going to apartment office to see the mean people. But without further ado....



Look at this cute striped project bag. Totally my style. I have a good, good SP. But wait, there's more:



The bag is reversible! And it contained 12 skeins of knitpicks shine twist in romance, a gorgeous blend of pinks & purple; 3 cute knitting buttons; an i-cord making dolly; a little measuring tape dude; addi turbos in size 5 to work my shine one; and an adorable Knitters' Anonymous patch. So much fun.

Pardon me. I have no time to talk to you imaginary people, I have to go and research projects that will work with my new shine twist.

Stupid QOTD...

Is it somehow "uncool" or tragically doofus-like to be A. knitting a clapotis and B. participating in secret pal?

I've actually seen buttons out there anti both things. And then there's this whole thing where folks are all like "well I don't like to knit anything that *everyone* is knitting." WTF? If everyone is knitting it, couldn't that be because it's a nice, fun project that looks pretty?

I'm in a mood. I'm PMS'ing and the man brought home pecan pie instead of chocolate. Someone needs to check him and make sure his brain didn't fall out on the jeep ride home.

I'm having one of those days where all of my internet interactions have been of the junior high variety. And I'm pretty sure most of the folks I'm dealing with are within 5 years either way of me. Sad and pathetic.

Woo-hoo! My first tag!

MyMy MeMe! Courtesy of stacyo

Here's how it works:
Pick 5 of the following questions and then complete the sentences. Then pass it on to 3 more of your blog friends! (No tag backs allowed.)
If I could be a scientist?
If I could be a farmer?
If I could be a musician?
If I could be a doctor?
If I could be a painter?
If I could be a gardener?
If I could be a missionary?
If I could be a chef?
If I could be an architect?
If I could be a linguist?
If I could be a psychologist?
If I could be a librarian?
If I could be an athlete?
If I could be a lawyer?
If I could be an inn-keeper?
If I could be a professor?
If I could be a writer?
If I could be a llama-rider?
If I could be a bonnie pirate?
If I could be an astronaut?
If I could be a world famous blogger?
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world?
If I could be married to any current famous political figure?

Here are my choices:

If I could be a musician? I'd love to be able to sing. I can sort of carry a tune. I mean I do a mean version of the B-i-b-l-e with the 2yo's in my sunday school class. But yeah. I suck. I remember when I was a kid and I thought I was an amazingly versatile singer. That I could sound just like sting, or just like madonna, or any of them. Then I realized I just had very bad hearing.

If I could be a gardener? Dagnabbit. I forgot to water the garden again. The man is gonna crap a duck.

If I could be a chef? This I'm actually considering. Being vegetarian, going out to eat sucks. Big time. I'd want to have this amazing restaurant where all my veggie friends could eat safely (vegans too!) but everyone would wanna come just cause my food was so scrumptious!

If I could be a librarian? This is kind of one of my dream jobs too. I’ve actually considered picking up a part-time job there when both of my boys (sob-cry-sob) are back in school in the fall. I could spend days in the library. In fact, everyonce in a while, my sanity break is to leave all the guys at home and just go and be there for a few hours.

If I could be a professor? I never wanted to be a professor. But I had rampant hormonal induced dreams during college of sleeping with my professors. I had a “serious boyfriend” so I was a good girl. He was a butthead. Trust me, I married him. (And divorced him). Damn wasted opportunities.

And yay! I get to tag people. So the lucky ducks are.... Deb the Yarner, Chicklit, and TabbyTuxedo.

Diets suck.

Food diets AND yarn diets. The food diet is because you guessed it, I'm fat. The yarn diet is because the man and I have been kind of spending way too much money on things that aren't essential. Me at the yarn stores, him at Harbor Freight. I guess it's his yarn store equivalent. I think it smells funny. But men all seem to love it. So there.

The good news about my yarn diet (if there can be any) is that it comes right after a yarn binge. And I have enough projects to last me a long good while. A very long good while.

Right now I am actively working on too many things. Such as sitcom chic.



I think it will be nice. I'm only having one eensy beensy problem. The curly needles. I did the whole "soak 'em in boiling water" trick. But once I got yarn on them they curled right back up. I'm gonna work the project off onto a pair of size 8 straights and see if I can make them not so curly. Cause they are giving me gas.

Mariposa & Sitcom Chic

BLOG QUESTION? Does anyone else have the HTML progress bars like I do? Sometimes they show up fine, but sometimes the bars cover my face. Maybe it always look fine to the rest of the world? I don't know.

I cast on for Mariposa Friday night.



I'm doing it in the recommended microspun, but in melon with fuschia edging. I've given up on soleil. Anyone wanna swap for or buy 8 balls of Endless Summer Sonata in mauve? *sigh*

I also bought 7 balls of Cotton Ease in white for my sitcom chic. I'm hoping that will be the perfect little sweater to throw over sundresses for church. I hope. We'll see I guess. $28 isn't too bad for the yarn for that though.

Mariposa makes me very happy. Know why? Because I get to make the medium (Duchess) size. It just tickles me. So much nicer than making the 2xl size of everything else.

Holy moly....

Well Soleil has been put out to pasture again. I don't know what my damage is, but I just can't seem to get it going. I had all three lace rounds done and was working on the make-one increases and made eyelets instead. Grrr.... So I recast on and screwed it up again. And again. And again.

I'm considering swapping the stupid yarn and getting it out of my sight. Like I've said before, it's giving me gas.

I cast on last night for Mariposa. I'm hoping that project works better for me. Honestly. I'm doing it in microspun in melon with fuscia as the CC. Right now I've just cast on and started the seed stitch for the bottom border.

Today is my husband's company picnic at a waterpark. Yeah. So I get to go swimming with his bosses. Won't that be fun? Actually I picked up a new striped tank suit with some matching swim shorts so I look semi decent. The suit makes a nice shelf for the girls so maybe that will distract from my tree trunk legs... lol. Oh well.