Sunday, August 14, 2005

I'm valuable dangit!

I've been thinking about value. And about free patterns. And about knitting of course. I wonder if knitting designers feel pressure to make their designs free. Why? Why should they? Why should they spend hours knitting something, and measuring, and frogging, and making it just so, and then typing up painstakingly perfect directions and then give it away? (Ok, so the directions aren't always perfect. But shut up. It's free.)

I'm starting to feel a whole lot of respect for the designers out there. I've been secretly trying to come up with some stuff, and man, it's tough. Tough with a capital T and a grunt.

I'm feeling kind of useless around the house. The man is dropping hints (ok hint bombs) that maybe I should go back to work. All of my money would be extra and then we could save up for a couple of years, get completely out of debt, buy a house, and then I could quit. Um, yeah. Doesn't he know that folks spend what they earn? I used to get along quite nicely, me and both boys for 25K. Three people, full-time daycare, on 25K. I don't know if I could do that now. Honestly. You spend what you earn. And sometimes more than that. I think the real answer is for me to become a better money manager, and then for me to find somethings to do out of the home to make money. (Knitting design is not on that list. Shoot, it takes too long and there's no guarantee anyone will like what you make.)

And the secret quiet part of all this, is that I don't want to give up another 2 years of my boys' life to some random daycare provider. I lost all the early years already. I'm selfish. I want to be there when they get home from school.

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

I think you should try to stay home as long as you can. Budget tight at home and then do just as you said, look for something you could do from home, or a part-time gig during school hours, or night work if you must.

mamma said...

First of all I completely agree that designing is dang hard. I've done some pretty heavy modifications to designs with great success, but my first and only attempt to design something from scratch was an absolute disaster and I refuse to even talk about it. While I really appreciate designer putting their designs out there for free there is no shame in wanting reasonable compensation for their creative genius.

As for going back to work, I can sympathise with you. The Greatest and I talk about when I'll go back to work, and he would like me to go when Bird starts school. I've managed to make him see that I couldn't possibly do it until she's in first grade (five years from now) but even then I don't want them in after-school care. I want to be there when they get home from school. I want to be a room mother and be home if they get sick at school. I want to be my mother. Then I've heard that they need you even more when they're teenagers. They need driven to their extra curricular activities and their emotional needs are even more complex. It's hard to strike a balance between physically taking care of your children and having the financial resources to take care of your children. No advice, just understanding.