Sunday, March 04, 2007

A little harsh...

This is boring life stuff, no knitting stuff. Forewarned is forearmed.

"I kinda hope she doesn't call back."

I typed that. Yesterday. And here is why.

In January of 2003 my divorce was final. A couple of months later a group of work-friends in Ohio had a girls only divorce party for me at my house. The ex-friend was the "ringleader". I started dating. The EF cheered me on. On Saturday, December 6th, I spent the day at EF's house scrapbooking. The man, who had watched the boys all day, picked me up, drove us downtown to the ginormous Christmas tree, and proposed. The EF was happy for me.

In the next month or so the friendship fell apart. I was in an extremely stressful position at work, and planning a wedding. All of the sudden I realized that I wasn't wanted in the group. I probably had missed it for awhile. I was totally overwhelmed. But when I called EF on it, the explanation I received was vague. The only part I remember is something about me complaining about my work when everyone on my project was getting all sorts of perks. Perks like pizza when you had to work til midnight for no OT. Like I said it was strange and vague. Some of it was about the man and the fact that I wasn't around anymore. But mostly I wasn't around because I was working in a separate building and never got to take lunch. And lunch was the biggest part of when we spent time together as a group.

The man and I got married. Only one in the group offered congratulations. Not the EF. Come April the man got the job offer here in Florida. About a week before we left I stopped in and talked the EF. We didn't speak of whatever had happened. I'd been close to the EF since 1998 when she threw my baby shower. So we had a final lunch and said goodbye on semi good terms. Since we moved here I've called every couple of months. She would always talk and chat, but never called me. I was lonely for such a long time here that I never noticed that.

When we went to OH in November of last year I called her beforehand. We were gonna do lunch. When I arrived in OH I called again and suddenly she had no time to see me. I offered a couple of days, but she was "busy". I understand busy. But no time I offered was good, and she made no effort to suggest a time. We went to the office, saw her in passing. The boys hugged her but she just looked at me like I was a stranger. I finally got the message.

So yesterday she calls. Nearly 4 months later. And this is why "I kinda hope she doesn't call back."

2 comments:

Segreto said...

Oh Rincaro,
You will always have your knitty friends! And those ladies at the LYS have been your lifeline up until now, they will be only a phone call away.
I am sure it feels like you are being poured on lately and from the sound of it, maybe some hail too. But just remember that you don't get the rainbow without the rain.
I hope your feeling better soon!
And way to go with school, three weeks of sickness and pitfalls and you are still getting A's in 3 classes, you rock lady!

Batty said...

Does it help that I love reading your posts on knitty and checking your blog to see what you're up to?

Sometimes, people just drift apart. I've lost 3 'best friends' to distance, different morals (no, having a baby with a married man and telling her mother that infidelity is a great way to liven up a relationship is not my idea of a good idea), and lack of time. People change. It's sad, but eventually, somebody comes along who is a great fit for the new you.

Hang in there.